Another One Bites The Dust
by reddoor
Summary: Matt and Mike are fairly anonymous in Glee club. But what happens when the other male members of Glee start dropping like flies in the lead-up to Regionals? Mark and whatsisname will just have to step up to the plate! Rated T for language.


Another One Bites The Dust

Rachel had taken to practising her 'show face' as she walked through the corridors of McKinley High. Sure, it meant that the proportion of her allowance allocated to stain removal products and dry shampoo had increased exponentially, but good facial muscle memory was a vital attribute for a budding starlet such as herself. After all, an inconsistent facial expression could cost them Regionals. She had tried to explain this to the unambitious slackers that she was forced to work with, but the only member of the club who hadn't responded with scorn, incredulity or outright hostility was Jesse, and he hardly needed the practise. She would have sighed in pleasure at the thought of her beloved's mega-watt grin, but her own attempt to emulate such greatness had been plastered to her face for five straight hours now. Her muscles were moulding themselves into a state of rigid delight, and she could not afford to let infatuation ruin all her hard work.

"Get your fucking hands off me, Karofsky!"

Rachel winced inwardly, unable to believe that her glossy, well-trained lips had once shaped themselves around the very mouth from which such disgusting language was now issuing. She could only hope that news of her brief fling with Noah Puckermann did not surface once she was an established Broadway star. She could not even begin to imagine how much damage such revelations might do to her reputation. Her reverie was ended by Puck's head slamming hard into the locker next to her own. She winced involuntarily at the sharp crack of skull connecting with metal, inwardly cursing Noah's harsh temper for ruining her facial conditioning. He was laid on the floor now, blood leaking from his nose, trying to push off the much larger hockey player, but failing miserably.

"No-one fucks with my mother, Puckermann", growled Karofsky, the mindless anger in his eyes making him look even more like an early hominid than usual. Before Puck could interject with a smartass comment, he received a knockout blow to the side of the head. His eyes rolled back and he went limp, leaving his conqueror to high-five the rest of the hockey team and strut away, laughing. Really, thought Rachel, as she hurried over to the limp form staining the linoleum outside the French room with blood, Karofsky may as well have sprayed pheromones across the hallway and started rutting the nearest available female, as his display of dominance over Puck had clearly been a demonstration of base masculine animal instinct.

She knelt over him. Looked for any signs of life in the eyes that were rapidly swelling shut and turning purple. Much as she regretted their make-out sessions, Rachel did not like seeing Puck in such a mess. What would the judges and Regionals think of the character of New Directions if they saw his bruised face? At this moment, he shifted and began moaning incoherently, a look of dazed bewilderment that reminded her of Brittany crossing his features. Puck tried to sit up, wincing, but Rachel pushed him back down. "Stay still", she ordered, removing her cell phone from its diamante-encrusted case. "You were unconscious for at least a minute, I'm calling an ambulance." He moaned louder, a noise that Rachel interpreted as justification for involving the emergency services, but that the other onlookers saw as an expression of the mixture of annoyance and frustration Glee's resident starlet was so talented at invoking.

Seeing as the wires that had been inserted into Puck's fractured jaw restricted his mouth movements rather severely, Mr Schue was forced into giving his solo to Jesse. Rachel guessed that Noah may have been rather annoyed by this. The large amount of metal holding his skull together may have restricted his facial expressions and speech, but she was fairly sure that people who are content with the path their life is taking at that moment did not repeatedly slam their fists into concrete walls. Still, the show must go on.


End file.
